styX
1/28/2007
Darkness
I had a dream, which was not all a dream. The bright sun was extinguish'd, and the stars Did wander darkling in the eternal space, Rayless, and pathless, and the icy earth Swung blind and blackening in the moonless air. Morn came and went and came, and brought no day, And men forgot their passions in the dread Of this their desolation and all hearts Were chill'd into a selfish prayer for light And they did live by watchfires and the thrones, The palaces of crowned kings the huts, The habitations of all things which dwell, Were burnt for beacons cities were consumed, And men were gathered round their blazing homes To look once more into each other's face Happy were those who dwelt within the eyeOf the volcanos, and their mountain-torch A fearful hope was all the world contain'd Forests were set on fire but hour by hour They fell and faded and the crackling trunks Extinguish'd with a crash and all was black. The brows of men by the despairing light Wore an unearthly aspect, as by fits The flashes fell upon them some lay down And hid their eyes and wept and some did rest Their chins upon their clenched hands, and smiled And others hurried to and fro, and fed Their funeral piles with fuel, and looked up With mad disquietude on the dull sky, The pall of a past world and then again With curses cast them down upon the dust, And gnash'd their teeth and howl'd the wild birds shriek'd, And, terrified, did flutter on the ground, And flap their useless wings the wildest brutes Came tame and tremulous and vipers crawl'd And twined themselves among the multitude, Hissing, but stingless--they were slain for food. And War, which for a moment was no more, Did glut himself again a meal was bought With blood, and each sate sullenly apart Gorging himself in gloom no love was left. All earth was but one thought and that was death, Immediate and inglorious; and the pang Of famine fed upon all entrails men Died, and their bones were tombless as their flesh The meagre by the meagre were devoured, Even dogs assail'd their masters, all save one, And he was faithful to a corse, and keptThe birds and beasts and famish'd men at bay, Till hunger clung them, or the dropping dead Lured their lank jaws himself sought out no food, But with a piteous and perpetual moan, And a quick desolate cry, licking the hand Which answered not with a caress he died. The crowd was famish'd by degrees but two Of an enormous city did survive, And they were enemies they met beside The dying embers of an altar-place Where had been heap'd a mass of holy things For an unholy usage they raked up,And shivering scraped with their cold skeleton hands The feeble ashes, and their feeble breath Blew for a little life, and made a flame Which was a mockery then they lifted up Their eyes as it grew lighter, and beheld Each other's aspects saw, and shriek'd, and died Even of their mutual hideousness they died,Unknowing who he was upon whose brow Famine had written Fiend. The world was void,The populous and the powerful was a lump,Seasonless, herbless, treeless, manless, lifeless . A lump of death a chaos of hard clay. The rivers, lakes, and ocean all stood still, And nothing stirred within their silent depths Ships sailorless lay rotting on the sea, And their masts fell down piecemeal: as they dropp'd They slept on the abyss without a surge. The waves were dead the tides were in their grave, The moon their mistress had expir'd before. The winds were withered in the stagnant air, And the clouds perish'd Darkness had no need Of aid from them She was the Universe.
Time Keeps Dwindling
Living in a world, caught between pleasure and pain,The arrogance of my heart, the insecurities in my brain,A never-ending cycle, of true belief and true doubt. Almost sure I’ve reached my limit, need to find my way out Like an inevitable cliche, I reach for comfort in the bottle, As if an answer sits waiting for me in its hollow, I’ve spent so many nights drowning through the years. No longer sure what I’m searching for, no longer sure if I careIs it time to give up, to give in and move on? Accept my place in this world and admit I’m not strong, Or do I keep searching, and pushing for the light? For my piece of freedom to finally sleep through the night I wish I knew the answer, I fear I never will. I hope I'll always care, I fear I no longer do
1/27/2007
My Dead Soul
A black rose unfurls from within my heart Nourished by crimson tears that Flow freely from my eyes. As wave after wave of hurt watch over me I scream out my rage and anguish Into the night where the Ever-changing moon listens. The stars begin to dance In a slow serenade to my pain.
I’m in mourning for my dead soul It seems like all of it is gone It has died and left me weightless; Now it seems I’ve lost control Of the things that I kept hid, The things that I know The things that could harm you, I’ve lost my control Of the demons possessed me. Those that strive to kill Caring for nothing, Bending all to their will. I’m in mourning for people Whose lives are now forever changed All those people living lifeless, All their fates now rearranged Like they’re struck by tornados And they’re torn all apart. Their lives become empty For them there’s no part In this thing that’s called safety They’re left all alone Empty and broken Away from their homes I’m in mourning for myself now I’m the cause for all this pain I’m the cause for so much misery Really, there’s no one else to blame....
I’m in mourning for my dead soul It seems like all of it is gone It has died and left me weightless; Now it seems I’ve lost control Of the things that I kept hid, The things that I know The things that could harm you, I’ve lost my control Of the demons possessed me. Those that strive to kill Caring for nothing, Bending all to their will. I’m in mourning for people Whose lives are now forever changed All those people living lifeless, All their fates now rearranged Like they’re struck by tornados And they’re torn all apart. Their lives become empty For them there’s no part In this thing that’s called safety They’re left all alone Empty and broken Away from their homes I’m in mourning for myself now I’m the cause for all this pain I’m the cause for so much misery Really, there’s no one else to blame....
A Long And A Lonely Life
Now that I find myself approaching the fall of my life I look back and see the miles streaching in a long ribbon behind me. My once proud broad shoulders are now bent and weary from the heavy loads just living has brought my way. The memories are crisp, the happy moments strong but few, these make the lonliness of my present life so much harder to tolerate. The future looms thick in the longings of my mind for I sense the end is drawing near. You say my heart cries out too much in its lonliness…but I cry only for the love I needed, yet wasted, not knowing it was so dear. The roads I’ve traveled on my journy through life have often taken me far and away from my home. But I have never once founf a true resting place for my heart, no one has ever given me a reason to stay. So I just kept on moving, sometimes slowly forward, sometimes in fast retreat, but always moving further into lonliness, heartache and pain. Always striving to fine a place for me here where I could take root and fine the peace my soul has always sought but never found. Surely now, at the close of life’s journey, love will exist for me somewhere in this world
